Vision Therapy

The last week has been great.  I survived patching over Thanksgiving, which I thought was going to be impossible.  I was able to patch every day and almost keep up with my reading, I got a few pages behind one day and it took forever, but I was able to catch back up.  My favorite question of the week came from my nephew (Scott or Austin, I can't tell the difference with the patch on, sorry boys!).  He asked after we'd spent a morning together with me wearing the patch, "So, where did your eye go?"  It made me laugh so hard.  I love those boys so much!

I have been having moments in the last couple weeks where things are looking a little blurry when both of my eyes are open.  This is concerning because I don't like it when things are so blurry.  I started trying to understand why and I realized that when I see with my left (good) eye only, everything is crystal clear and bright, when I see with just my right eye (lazy) everything is blurry and dull.  When I used to have both eyes open it would be crystal clear and bright, which means only my left eye was seeing.  Now with both eyes things go between clarity, fog, and confusion.  Which means one things, both of my eyes are trying to see at the same time!  They aren't super good at it yet, but they will be.

In other news, Zac had the most brilliant idea the other night.  I was complaining about the patch, bless his heart for listening, and about how my left eye is going to get more wrinkly faster from stretching it out everytime I pull off the patch.  He said "they should make a contact lens that blocks everything like a patch so you don't have to wear one.  It was genius and I was ready for us to be billionaires, but somebody beat us to it.  After a bunch of phone calls and internet research I've discovered a contact lens that can work like a patch and it's only $200 and lasts a whole year!!!  I am giddy with excitement!  No more waiting until 10:30 or 11 to exercise, shower, and put on make up.  And if I'm being honest, those things aren't really happening because by 11 the day is basically gone and exercise isn't happening.  Now I have the option because I won't sweat and ruin it or get it wet and I'll be able to put on makeup without it getting smashed and smeared.  I'm so excited.

Today I went on a coaching call with Jody Moore, she is a life coach who does free calls every now and then where people can send their questions and get coached.  There are tons of listeners so I always submit a question, but rarely get picked.  But today I got picked!   I wanted help having more confidence and just a better attitude about the whole patching situation.  I loved her advice!  She talked about how my current thoughts are, "this is hard, I don't like this, this is weird," and that I should try to get to a more neutral place with my thoughts.  She compared it to wearing a bra, when I wake up in the morning, I don't think about how restrictive and uncomfortable it is, I just put it on because that's what I do.  It's not really a good or a bad thing, it just is.  She encouraged me to try to think of patching in that way.  I'm probably not going to be at a place of loving it or thinking it's amazing, but I can get to neutral.  I wear the patch and that's it, I don't need to put so much effort into hating it because I know that I'm going to be an adult and take care of my vision.  She said the same thing can apply to not eating junk food.  You may never enjoy not having your junk, but you can at least be neutral about it...maybe I'll work on that next.  haha

And finally, I am seeing some improvements and realize that I might need some professional help to train my eyes to work together.  I can get them each strong on their own with patching and reading the Book of Mormon.  But I am lost as to how to get them to team up.  I have been praying about it and in the process of learning about the amazing contact lens solution one of the many receptionists that I talked to told me to call an Optometrist named Daniel Nielson who is a local specialist in vision therapy.  I'd never even heard of vision therapy, but after calling and talking to them and reading about it online I think I've found my answer.  She said that he works miracles with people with similar problems.  I technically still don't know what vision therapy is, but I go in for my consultation next Wednesday so we will soon find out.

I feel like I am going through this blindly, literally and figuratively just wandering around grasping for what I should be doing and honestly feeling a little lost.  But I have never felt my Heavenly Father more aware of me then now.  It's like I can just picture him watching me and carefully placing people in my path and ideas in my mind that are directing me to where I need to go.  I am starting to feel so much peace because I can trust that he will let me know what I need to do.  He is watching over me.  He is the shepherd and I am a like a blind, wandering sheep.  He is easily able to watch over me, I just have to have faith and follow him.